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September 2020:
School is looming. Back to ‘normal’? Hardly. What a bridge to the unknown September brings as we walk out little hearts back into schools. Letting go of little hands. Letting go of big hands. Adults crippled with emotional conflicts; trepidation, guilt, relief etc... Teachers in the ever and even more challenging place to appease all requests, fears, uncertainties and complaints, struggling themselves no doubt with their own internal anxieties.
A collective tension feels present right now, the safety and emotional well-being of our children ever present in the hearts and minds of adults. In view of this I wish to offer a very simple practice to deal with emotional turmoil and in particular anxiety.
It can sometimes be helpful to talk to children about the return to school but for some the act of talking can actually perpetuate their mental pain.
I have used a method known as the ‘Giveaway Technique’ for years and coupled with the resonance process work I have done this year I have found it incredibly helpful to remove emotional blocks that, if left unprocessed, easily become manifestations of physical pain.
The process I have outlined below is enormously beneficial when it is not possible to speak directly to the people who we feel hurt or angered by or to speak openly or rationally about situations that are causing us anxiety. By way of burning, we transform the grasp of power that the emotions have on us through the primal element of fire. Working in this way, with the raw elements of nature, brings a balance back into the body and an accumulative sense of peace in the psyche.
My hope is that this process can be an aid for many families who may be feeling the choke-hold of anxiety and don’t quite know how to help their children or themselves.
Please take the process below away freely; use it, share it, pass it on and be creative with it in your own individual ways. Anyone can do this process for a number of purposes but it is shared here with the specific intention for the return of school or for families returning to Home Education clubs and group activities.
Please feel free to comment with any questions you may have and also any success stories in using it. As is always the way, when we help our children we help ourselves.
With love.
Releasing Anxiety Process:
* Sit down with your child in a calm and relaxed atmosphere. Outside can be helpful but guide them with the understanding that this is a time to be together not to play as it were. Don’t push too hard if it’s a time that’s just not working for them.
* Have a pen, some paper, clipboard, matches and a fire pit / metal container you can use to light paper in to burn.
* If your child can write fluently then encourage them to do so and reassure them that they needn’t worry about spellings or grammar for this.
* If your child cannot write then you will be writing for them and in the process hold their hand as a conduit.
* The point of writing is to write down any fears or anxieties they have. They may be shy of writing in front of you therefore give them space if they need privacy but be with them for it and avoid being distracted by anything else during this time. Turn phones off and set this time aside to be together but not breathing down their necks.
* Encourage them to write down single words or sentences, draw pictures or paint if they find writing a challenge. Allow for any kind of creativity that works for them and you. It is the process that matters and the release of the emotions onto paper through the hand that is of utmost importance. *As a side note here, the hands and arms are an extension of the heart energy centre and holding too much fear in the mind / body can be very damaging for the heart.
* They can scribble, write furiously, write over words already written especially if they have angry words to say and can even write with their eyes closed. Emotions may come in to play and this is absolutely fine but encourage them to write / paint / draw through it without pushing them in their limits. Try not to say too much or fix anything for them but just be a quiet presence for them to be comforted by.
* VERY IMPORTANTLY - ensure that they do not reread their writing or study their artwork as this reabsorbs the fear. The immediate physical process is the important thing and the key to effective release. Reassure them they cannot do anything wrong or say anything wrong. They need to feel free for this process.
* When they have written / drawn what they need to for the time being immediately scrunch it up and safely set it on fire. ** Please do ensure you act safely and responsibly here - I cannot take any responsibility for harm caused by fire but I would encourage children of an appropriate age to set alight their own papers in the company of an adult. The more they can do for this process the better.
* Afterwards, give them a hug and a glass of water and offer the opportunity for them to talk to you if they need to. By talking we do not reabsorb the pain because it has been released physically. I would however encourage this process daily until we are well into the new term as repetitive themes may come up that need working through but with slightly different emphasis.
* Children sometimes struggle to explain their feelings and just don’t have the capacity to understand and analyse them; far too often they end up being physical manifestations which can start a cascade of issues. By writing simply using single words or by drawing they needn’t have to think too rationally and it can be much more helpful for them.
* If you are writing on behalf of a child please avoid writing full sentences - use only the words that the child speaks and continue to hold their hand throughout.
* It is also very important that as parents and carers we do not take on the anxieties we have heard from the mouths of our young ones. So, as part of this process I would advise the adults to write out their own fears first and burn them before they do this process with their child (so as to avoid emotional projection) and then to repeat the process after they have witnessed their child writing. (The child need not be present for this part). Understanding this important point of resonance is vital to clear our heart centres of overwhelming fear.
* Please understand that this is an accumulative process. Peace gradually returns through continued commitment. Try not to expect miracles in the first session - although this can happen! - but allow for time to work its magic.